Captain Fort Worth and his first mate Lubbock are cruising through space when an argument over Elven women sends Fort into a rage and crash-lands their ship the USS Longstreet on a planet occupied by an Orc tribe led by Fort's old friend Warboss Swampass. The planet also harbors an Elven Brothel — and the Elf Queen herself, the one conquest that has eluded Fort across his entire galactic career. Fort and his Wranglers fight through Orc and Elf resistance alike, including the galaxy's dreaded Dick Monsters, in a relentless push to finish what was started long ago.